Is There Really Cats In A Human Race Or The Cradle?
Kol Nidre
October 1, 2006
Rabbi Gary S Creditor

One of the most powerful prayers in the Yom Kippur liturgy is “Al Chayt.” Starting tonight we recite it during the silent Amidah and in its repetition in every service but Neilah. Traditionally we beat our hearts as a sign of contrition every time we say the words “Al Chayt.” The original composition was composed alphabetically, with two lines for every one of the twenty-two Hebrew letters. Additionally there are nine lines that refer to sins for which sacrifices were obligated to be offered. That totals fifty-three lines of the prayer “Al Chayt.” I have read and reread that list innumerable times. In thinking about this sermon and rereading the original text I discovered that there is something missing!

There is no “Al Chayt” listed for wasting our lives!

There is no “Al Chayt” for missing opportunities!

There is no “Al Chayt” for forgetting to give compliments, hugs and kisses!

There is no “Al Chayt” for missing the sunrise, for missing the sunset!

There is no “Al Chayt” for missing the birth of our children or of our grandchildren!

There is no “Al Chayt” for how we lived our lives!

The ones listed talk about specific acts that I have done wrong. But none of them refer to what I didn’t do and could have done. None of them talk about the rhythm and cadence of my life.

I was moved to speculate on these thoughts for several reasons. Firstly, we have had to watch our grandchildren grow up in spurts. It’s the problem of having the Rabbinate as the family business. Menachem and I both work on Shabbat and Yom Tov! In the beginning we had to reintroduce ourselves to Ariel, and Menachem and Liz would have to reassure her that it we were all right. They would hold a picture of us in front of her when we would talk on the telephone. And that is how it is with Moshe Tzvi. From crawling, the next time we see them, it’s running. Many grandparents have the same experience. But in talking with Menachem and about us being Rabbis, he assuaged certain feelings that I harbored within me, about not “being there” enough for him and his sisters. The pulpit Rabbinate can be like the old-time GP’s who were in practice alone, always available, made house calls and had no one to cover. Yet he has the most indelible memory of two things. Firstly, barring emergencies, I was always home for dinner. When the children came home from school they had a small snack to tide them over to dinner. It was served when I came home so that we ate as a family, saw each other’s face, and talked about the day. I might have had to run out for a meeting or class, but we took time to be together. Secondly, he remembered the family car trips during my summer vacation. He and his sisters remember Hershey Park, Cape Cod, Lake George, Cooperstown, the East End of Long Island, visiting my brother in Pittsfield, Ma. and schlepping our food. I was truly amazed at the clarity and completeness of their memories. It was definitive for him. He made me feel a lot better.

The connect-the-dots game in my memory spurred on by my discussion with Menachem led me back to those days on Long Island which reminded me of a song from those days which motivated me to make sure that I did my darndest not to have to beat too many extra times for the Al Chayts not written in the Machzor, the ones I did sense about missing opportunities, about missing life. The song writer was a man from Long Island who died in a car crash on the Long Island Expressway- Harry Chapin and the song is “Cats in the Cradle.”

Cats In The Cradle Lyrics

Artist: Harry Chapin
Album: Cats In The Cradle

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

When our children were young and I heard that song, I cried, because I realized the flight of time, how many things I missed no matter how much I tried. Now our three children don’t change so fast but our grandchildren do. So being with them in Jerusalem last summer, for birthdays, Thanksgiving and vacation times are infinitely delicious and desired. The prayers of Al Chayt return every year, just in case I have distorted my priorities, just to remember.

Now, I did have a different sermon in mind for tonight. This entire development of my thought was instigated because one morning I was still home and turned on the TV just for some noise. Instead I saw an interview with Jamie Lee Curtis. There she was reading from this soon to be published book. And in the instant following her reading, this whole sermon was born and I finished connecting the dots and just had to type it up. I recommend that you buy this book and read it to yourselves. Read it to your children, to your grandchildren. Read it as part of your preparation for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. Maybe even read it before fulfilling the mitzvah of kever avot, visiting the cemetery. Enjoy the pictures. In the simplicity of its language there is profound wisdom, necessary for every day of our lives. Maybe, if we take it to heart, we can even avoid beating the extra, unprinted “Al Chayts”.

Is There Really a Human Race?
by Jamie Lee Curtis & Laura Cornell

Is there really a human race?

Is it going on now all over the place?

When did it start?

Who said. “Ready, Set, Go”?

Did it start on my birthday?

I really must know.

 

Do I warm up and stretch?

Do I practice and train?

Do I get my own coach?

Do I get my own lane?

 

Do I race in the snow?

Do I race in a twister?

Am I racing my friends?

Am I racing my sister?

If the race is a relay, is Dad on my team?

And his dad and his dad?

You know what I mean.

 

Is the race like a loop

Or an obstacle course?

Am I a jockey,

Or am I a horse?

Is there pushing and shoving

To get to the lead?

If the race is unfair,

Will I succeed?

 

Do some of us win?  Do some of us lose?

Is winning or losing something I choose?

Why am I racing? What am I winning?

Does all of my running keep the world spinning?

 

If I get off track

When I take the wrong turn,

Do I make my way back

From mistakes?

Do I learn?

 

Is it a sprint? A dash to the end?

Am I aware of the time that I spend?

And why do I do it, this zillion-yard dash?

If we don’t help each other, we’re all going to…..

CRASH.

 

Sometimes it’s better not to go fast.

There are beautiful sights to be seen when you’re last.

 

Shouldn’t it be that you just try your best?

And that’s more important than beating the rest?

 

Shouldn’t it be looking back at the end

That you judge your own race by the help that you lend?

 

So, take what’s inside you and make big, bold choices.

And for those who can’t speak for themselves,

Use bold voices.

 

And make friends and love well,

Bring art to this place.

And make the world better

For the whole human race.

 Here’s my prayer:

So God, I hope I didn’t miss too many opportunities this year. I’ll try to see a few more of Your majestic sights of nature, smell a few more roses, give a few more kisses – Hershey’s and real ones, and be a little more human, as You designed me.

That’s my prayer, fewer “Al Chayts” for life missed and little more “L’Chayyims” for life lived.

May our children and grandchildren grow up just like us.

Amen.